Don’t. Can’t. Won’t

We should try to live life to the fullest, but there’s one big hurdle to overcome.

Life: it takes a lot of motivation.

The motivation needed to be motivated takes a lot of motivation. It’s a vicious cycle we often find ourselves in.

Take keeping up with this blog. The plan is to make a five-hundred word post every single day, and while I’ve stuck to this task everyday, the fact that most of these posts barely get completed by midnight proves my struggle with the motivational monster. I procrastinate every single day when I try to compose my daily diary post.

I sit and stare at these screen for a good thirty minutes trying to come up with an idea to write a meager five-hundred words about.

Even right now, I’m watching that stupid black line blink back and forth as I struggle to come type up five-hundred words of coherent thought.  Moreover, it’s hard to motivate myself to even come up with a topic or even a rant or ramble that I can generate hundreds of words to for a post.

It gets worse as I get about half way done with a blog post and find motivation to do irrelevant tasks instead of working on the main task I set out to work on. I’ve gotten up at least a dozen times trying to write this very post. I’ve been to the gym, cooked twice, and watch multiple television programs, barely managing to type out more than thirty words in a random order that barely fit the topic I’m trying to write about.

Motivationally, I’ve gotten quite lazy.

I’m insanely lazy when I need to be extremely motivated. I know I have things to do, but I can’t summon the focused strength to work on any given job.

This does not, I should add, apply to my current adult job. I work at that. I do my job. I don’t procrastinate at my actual job that I make actual money at. I work hard for the money. Damn hard for it, honey.

It’s just the not-job stuff I struggle with finding motivation for these days.

Keeping consistently motivated about doing things I have to take care of throughout the day is a struggle even when it comes to taking care of my own physical body.

In college, I could barely be motivated to stretch to stay in shape. I thought doing a sport was all the work I needed. I was involved in color guard for eight years. Running around a football field for ten minutes a few times a week, I thought that was enough, and I was covered for my exercise. When color guard ended, I really couldn’t be motivated to work out. I thought I’d exercised enough that I was covered.

I was also unmotivated when it came to my diet.

About seven years, I went vegan. Well, more specifically, I adopted a plant based diet. I’m a naturally skinny person, mostly due to good genetics, but I’d never been the most healthy of people. Once I fully embraced veganism and began abstaining from any animal by-products, my motivation to stay healthy faded into an activism.

You be asking how choosing to be an animal activist makes me unmotivated. Well, there is a lot of vegan junk food. A LOT! I’ve tried to work out everyday, but I am completely unmotivated to keep up with a healthy diet under the guise of animal activism.

How do I overcome this? How do motivate myself to complete each daily blog? Relaxation and inspiration. Motivation is impossible if it’s forced. When you’re stressed out, you won’t be able to overcome any laziness and won’t find any sort of motivation to create or do anything you want or need to do.  Relax. Write as much as you feel up to. When you can’t, read or do something that easies your stress. When I don’t feel inspired to write, I read. I let the world feed me my ideas, and then suddenly words start flooding the page.

…And the post is done.


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