‘Cause I’m (Not) Happy

In the past couple of years, there have been a significant number of hit songs that focus on something other than romance gained or lost. All of these musical numbers look at embracing one singular thought that is supposed be or should be experienced by every person in this world.

One word: Happy.

What does it mean to be and feel happy? What is happy anyway? How do we define it? How do we know when we are truly happy?

Let’s discuss, shall we? And of course, by we, I mean me and anyone that may come across this humble blog and visually consume one of my daily rants and/or rambles about life, the universe, and everything.

Today, I don’t feel like writing something about writing or about something that relates directly to writing, though it is something that most likely greatly affects the way that I write and come up with ideas.

Happiness is an easy emotion or state for some. Optimists

I am the farthest thing from an optimist. Life doesn’t immediately default to the happy setting and, to be horribly honest,  I almost reject it. Happiness isn’t a trusted emotion for me.

Sad? Now, that’s an emotion I am all too familiar with. I am an open and honest pessimist. I usually look on the dark side of life because it’s easier for me to prepare for the worst than hope for the best. I’m usually sad, so that’s my normal.

Hello Darkness, my old friend.

I honestly don’t have a solid, obvious answer for why I struggle so much with the more positive emotions. I have a good life. I have my health, at least so far I do. I may not have my dream job,  but I’m employed full-time with benefits and can pay my bills and college loans. My family is alive and well with no major problems. Life for me is good right now.

At least, it should be.

Happiness is an obvious feeling that I should be experiencing all of the time. The circumstances are all there. All of the elements are there for me to be happy with the greatest of easy. I should be jumping for joy on a daily basis.

Except, I’m not.

I can list all of the good parts of my life that I am grateful to have, and I AM grateful, but it wouldn’t make me any happier. Everything in the world could perfectly aline without a single hiccup, and if I don’t feel happy, I won’t be happy. It’s unfortunately as simple as that. Happiness doesn’t happen if happiness isn’t happening.  For the non-optimists of the world, that’s often how life is. Happiness is something that has to be worked for.

That’s how I am. Happiness is foreign; sadness is familiar.

I will end with this. I am happy I have my wits about me so I can write. I’m happy there are things to write about and that I have to tools to be able to write at all.

I happy that I have potential readers that can read what I write.

Knowing this, I am a little happy.

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2 thoughts on “‘Cause I’m (Not) Happy

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