Hanging With Myself

All by myself

Alone: the state of being with just yourself. I am almost always alone. You are alone sometimes. We are all alone at some point in our  lives. We are together in our state of being alone.

It’s not too bad to be alone.

Alone is not bad. Sometimes, we need to be outside the influence of people to truly grasp our own reality and our own thoughts. Plus, people can be exhausting in large doses.  Anyone like me who is an introvert knows that there are times when we just need to step away from the social world and retreat into our own personal world to recharge our people batteries.

Being alone can be a good thing, but we shouldn’t be and don’t want to be all of the time. When we are alone but don’t want to be, we move to a state of loneliness.

Lonely is a horrible feeling. Human beings are naturally social creatures. Introverted or extroverted, we need each other to continue on and grow.  We sometimes need to be in our own head, but it can be dangerous if we only reside there. Despite knowing this need to interact for our own sake, we end up lonely a lot of the time, even though we are arguably more connected than ever before.

It’s like all of our friends and all the other people we could interact with are on the other side of some sort of screen. Oh, wait, they sort of are there.

Social Media. “Social” This should mean that we utilize technology to interact with our fellow man or woman, but do we? How much do we honestly connect over the wires of the digital world. Nowadays, we can be so easily and quickly connected to absolutely anyone on any side of the globe with a click of the button.  We can acquire an immeasurable amount of digital friends, more than we could ever possibly dream to meet in real life. The question is, though, are we really friends with these people? Do we take the time to know these people in real life?

I’ve seen it time and time again, and I’m incredibly guilty of it myself. People on their phones sitting at a restaurant with other people on their phones and browsing Facebook. They spend more time looking at the lives of others instead of having conversations with the people they are actually with.

Not that I am in any position to judge. Like I said, I’m just as guilt as anyone. Even digitally, I kind of suck at having friends or knowing people in general.

Right now, I have about ten followers on Twitter, sixty or so friends on Facebook, and about twenty-four followers on this lovely blog. Out of the ninety-ish people that I claim to interact with online, I maybe actually talk to one or two of these people in actuality. I’d love to get to know more about my internet friends. I’ve met some in real life and some only online.  Despite this number of social media companions and a want to know them more, I’m still incredibly lonely.

So, what’s the problem?

Part of it is the whole social anxiety thing I have going for me. People scare me, and I don’t want to disappoint them or disinterest them with my awkwardness. I can’t predict their opinions of me and cannot read minds. Along with the added social media issue, I can’t read people through the digital curtain. In response of all of this, I stop trying to make friends and socialize because I can’t truly see if they are real friends and really like me for me.

Time for a change.

As this little blog project is about making myself better, let me start by saying this.

Hi, internet, how are you today?

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