Paper Jam, Life Jam

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Is there an IT department that can fix the printer that is printing my life story? I think there’s some sort of a jam.

I’m currently in a moment of my life when I just feel stuck.

My life has not gone according to my I’m not in my ideal career field that I went to school for, but I’m employed full-time. My social life isn’t booming, but I have friends who I see on occasion. Hell, my love life is nonexistent, but I’m starting to think that isn’t always a bad thing seeing how the love lives of others have turned out.  Still, life just isn’t moving like I desperately wish it would.

Everything just feels a bit too simply easy and boring.

This helps field some of my largest insecurities about living my life. My biggest fear in all of this floating is becoming too comfortable. It’s honestly easier for me to be struggling with the way my life is going because I have something to fight for. There’s motivation to move forward because the machine isn’t working. I have to either work at the wires of the machine or buy a new machine entirely. Either way, there is a need to do something.

But, what do we do when the machine runs, just not exactly the way we would like it to?

When we don’t have drama and trauma to combat in our lives, we can sometimes become too comfortable with our lives. We become complacent in our normality. We stop seeking more for fear that we will find struggle. Life is terribly uncertain so we try to anything in our humanly power to prevent us from completely derailing. We want security so badly that when we get it, we don’t try to look for something greater.

We lose motivation.

Still, sometimes with or without motivation, the key to unlock life’s progress just won’t open the door. We can do everything in our power or nothing at all, and the outcome will  turn out the same regardless of what we do. Life just does not do exactly what you want it to when you want it to.

Believe me, I know this all too well.

Like I said, life isn’t moving in the direction I want it to, despite my efforts to kick start it. I’ve checked every box I can think to check, followed the rules I thought were the correct ones, played the part I was assigned, and still life refuses to move forward.

I’m not sure what else to do.

Maybe what I’m missing is that if I want life to move forward, I have to start moving forward. God, or whatever divine power you believe in, granted us free will, so that might be the key to kick start the car of my life. Just because I’m following the rules, doesn’t mean I’m embracing desire to improve.

Though, that seems like a lot of effort.

Too bad we can’t just turn life off and on like most of our technology.

Where’s the life plug?

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