Close to Time Travel


“There is air in my lungs for a reason. Something always stops me from jumping off the edge. I just wish I knew what,”-Me on Twitter circa 2016.

Every morning, before I enter my place of employment for another work day, I try to clear out all of the notifications from the various applications I’ve deemed important to have on my phone. I check my email as if I ever get anything interesting there. I check out my virtual Springfield on Springfield: Tapped Out and make sure all of my virtual Springfield citizens have tasks to do while I work. I check Facebook to see what my actual friends are up to and Twitter to see what my favorite celebrities are up to in their own lives, but there is one application in particular that I will almost immediately check as soon as my brain decides to turn on in the morning.


If you’ve never used this application before, it basically is a program that searches through your social media sites and extracts the posts you created that day for however many years back you had the profile. Old tweets, Facebook posts, and Instagram pictures of the past find their way to the present of your phone to remind you of technological days of old. You can see your technological progression with the swipe of your finger. It’s a way to see how much you have changed over the years in terms of your presence on the world wide web.

I just wish my TimeHop growth chart showed me a more positive growth for me.

Most of my more recent TimeHop time travels, ones from only a year or two ago, have to do with searching, and I have come to realize one thing about my life.

The older I get, the less I know.

Finishing up the first quarter of my life, I seem to be becoming more lost than found. Each experience and lesson I learn in life just keep giving me more questions and quests to go on. I always thought wisdom game with age, but I only seem to become more ignorant and innocent with the workings of the world. I earned my Master’s degree last year and am now facing down more possibilities and options, but I don’t know where to go with any of it. I’m more lost as an adult than as a teenager.

Even funnier, almost a decade prior, I seemed to have a much more solid grasp on the way life works. I knew what I wanted to do with my life. When it’s able to, the TimeHop can even search all the way back to the last days of my high school life. It seems like it can be cool to see what I was thinking almost a decade ago. All of my old posts seem to be  about being ready for a new chapter. I knew where I was going and what I wanted.

How am I less stable as an adult than I was as a child?


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