Well, it looks like you have reached that point in your life again. It is another moment where life’s little roadblocks, the actions of others, and just your own general anxiety and stressors pile up and finally reached your boiling point. You can try and put on the bravest of faces during your day, but you know that it is getting a little harder to breathe easily these days.
You may think you are fine and give a good enough show to pretend that everything is perfectly good and well, but your threads are starting to come undone.
Let’s be honest, you know you’re beginning to crack a little. You literally sat in your bed and cried over having to reschedule a dentist appointment the other day. You cried for a solid ten minutes straight and felt sick to your stomach for the rest of the day…over a minor inconvenience in your schedule. You came undone over something so meaningless and minor and became a sobbing heap of a woman.
My dear, you are a mess.
You feel sometimes that you’ve lost your mind from all of the chaos. Everything you feel and experience just seems like it can and will crush you like a grape. You are lonely and don’t have a single clue how to connect right now to other humans for any sort of comfort against the storm of life right now. Every little mistake appears to you as though you have committed the greatest of failure of your life, and that you will never recover from your little life infractions.
Well, you need to stop this negative train you find yourself riding on. Sure, life is not exactly where you want it to be right now, and a lot of things are going quite wrong right now. You feel like you are the worst person in the world, but you have a fair amount going for you at this time if you take the time to look around at the world.
You are enough.
I know I don’t tell you this as often as I should, and for that, I’m sorry. I should always be your biggest cheerleader. I should be doing anything and everything in my power to raise you up and help you to realize that you matter and have worth in this world. I haven’t been doing a very good job at lifting you out of your very dark place. I need to be kinder and nicer to the face I see every morning when I look in the mirror.
Let’s review the good instead of reflecting on the bad for once.
You are a college graduate, twice a college graduate. You didn’t just coast through those degrees; you earned them while working a part time and then a full time job. You are insanely knowledgeable about an encyclopedia of random trivia. You are/try to be kind to others. You have potential, and that should be enough for now.
Me, I know it’s hard to find the match right now when everything is getting darker and darker by the minute. Just don’t give up just yet. Be well.