Let Her Cry

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The other day, I could not stop crying.

After all of my errands were met for the day, I crawled back into my loving bed and curled up in my blankets. With my air conditioner on the highest setting, I took my contacts out and pulled my sleep mask over my eyes in an attempt to take a nice nap on a warm day.  However, sleeping was not the activity that I ended up doing on this warm sunny day.

I just started bawling my eyes out.I had a ten minute session of straight crying, the kind that just absolutely drain you of all energy when your eyes finally dry. Even worse, the trigger for my sad moment was triggered by something incredibly stupid.

See, I was supposed to have a fairly extensive dental procedure done that day. Originally, the appointment was supposed to be in August, but I got a call that there was an opening earlier and that I could take this appointment instead. Of course, given my horrid dental history and frequent trips to the dentist, I took this appointment without any sort of hesitation.  Taking a half day from work, I drove home, had a nice hearty lunch since my mouth was likely to be sore, and drove over for what I thought was going to be a two hour appointment. I signed in, waited for about ten minutes, and was escorted back to an exam room. The hygienist then began talking to me as if this appointment was a cleaning. Seeing my confusion, she walked back to the front desk to confirm and came back to tell me that I was not getting worked on that day. I walked back to the front where they explained the mixup and rescheduled me for the correct type of appointment. It was a minor mixup that should not have really affected me or my mood in any way, shape, or form.

Still, I cried. I cried a lot.

I’m not sure exactly why I began to cry as hard as I did. It was a minor inconvenience that was rectified easily.  It should not have made me weep uncontrollably. Maybe, I just gathered way too much emotional kindling, and this was just the match that lit everything up. I haven’t cried in so long that I forgot how it felt, and it’s honestly kind of funny.

Crying in my bed used to be the normal.

When I was younger, I was the biggest crybaby. Anything even remotely unpleasant, whether it affected me directly or not, caused tears to form in my eyes. While the severity of my crying sessions varied, my reactions to anything negative cause me to start crying. I was well known as a cryer amongst my friends and family.  I may have hated that reputations back then and tried to fix this by limiting my tearful reactions. Eventually, the wells of my eyes dried up.

Funny thing is, now I miss crying.

No one likes being upset, but crying is almost essential in dealing with upsetting times. After I cried out everything I had been holding in, I felt better than I had in weeks. It was like all of the pressure and stress evaporated with every single tear that fell. I expressed instead of hid and felt better because of it.

So, turn on a sad song or movie, and cry.

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