Finally, it’s Friday.
Once four thirty in the afternoon hits, I leave my office building, get into my car, and drive home. I step into my home, crack open a beer, and take a deep breath. For the next two days, my time is mine and mine alone. I can do what I want whenever I want.
The weekend is here.
My weekends are up to me. Sometimes, I try to fill the evening of Friday to Sunday night with activities. I try to fill each and every minute with something to do and somewhere to go. Other weekends, I do absolutely nothing. I am perfectly content with resting in bed, watching a movie, going shopping, or doing nothing. My weekends are entirely based on how the rest of my week went. It all depends on my mood, and Saturday and Sunday are entirely up to me. I know what the freedom of a weekend means nowadays.
Back in the day, I didn’t know what the hell a weekend was.
As a young kid, weekends were days where you got to play with all of your toys and do whatever your parents will allow you to do. You didn’t have to do homework or pay attention in class. The weekends were free to do whatever you wanted to do with your time.
Then, I joined the schools color guard and marching band.
School activities will always eat up your time, but doing marching band and winter guard will guarantee you will never know the freedom of a weekend. Two or three days a week, you go to practice to help your band and color guard craft a show that will appeal to a bunch of random judges that you will encounter at the various shows your school directors schedule for you
This was my life from eighth grade to my senior year of college.
I though once I left the marching band lifestyle that I would absolutely free to do whatever I wanted to do. I could take this time to relax or get errands/homework done. However, once I was awarded all of this free time, I realized something.
I don’t like all of the free time.
Now that I have my weekends all to myself, I am utterly confused. With a car and a credit card, the world should be my oyster. I have disposable income and not a lot of bills to pay. I should feel free, but I don’t.
I don’t like free time.
It cannot be said enough. The worst thing for an anxious mind is idleness and free time. When you allow me to be on rest mode, I don’t always know what to do with myself.
Free time is scary.
Nowadays, I try to fill any empty space I have. Even if it is a small activity, I try to engage in anything that will keep my mind from imagining the worst possible scenar.
Whether I can figure out what to do with my weekend or not, the weekend is here.
If I’m being completely honest, I think it’s going to be one of those lazy weekends. It’s been a long week, and it’s that time of the month. I have absolutely no energy to do anything productive for the next two days.
Happy weekends, friends.